A few of you have asked me, why do I not often include Jimmy in my blogs?
It was more that he was not the one pushing the boundaries of development.
No excuses now.
Jimmy's speech has been growing at such exponential rate that we're flabbergusted all the time at what he can articulate. More on that later.
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Today I had to do some chores.
pick up parcel at Auspost
pick up some turkish bread
pick up groceries
Normally I would take Sam but this time I realised that I'd have lots of one on one time with Sam at the bonfire/camp event coming up. So I took Jimmy.
Next to the post office we heard the sound of machinery. Diggers!
I was amazed at the depth of the excavations. From the other side the passers by would not have expected such a multi-story excavation. There were four machines.
Jimmy was fixated for a good 20min until I realised how loud the noise was bouncing off the concrete walls.
Then at the shops Jimmy had a great time sampling the fruit at the fruit and veg shop.
In short, Rizwan says you should get in the habit of taking care of:
Your body
Your mind
Your relationships
Your finances
Your communication
He gave some very practical examples. Simple right?
What struck me was his acknowledgement of habits. Habits are these things that take a long time to cultivate, but you reap the benefits of habits many years late. Habits have made a world of difference in his life.
I turn 31 this year.
In the last 12 months, I've just begun to realise the power of habits.
Taking out the rubbish.
Making the bed.
Learning something new on the way to work.
With habits these do not seem like chores. But on their own, at the start, they are so hard to get going.
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For other electrical and computer systems engineers, it would be like discovering the embedded system in your brain. Once you have configured it right, debugged it, it keeps running and running in the background.
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Still, there is an assumed "good life" behind the above question.
In the hour and a half I was there with Sam and Jimmy, Sam got hit. He got pushed over. But I pulled him up before he fell down. Yes, I chickened out.
He bouldered up some steps and was about to walk across a ledge, 2.5m high.
I hesitated. Do I let him or don't I?
To let him would be good for his guts, build some confidence, but then the risk of him falling and say fracturing his vertebrae would be suboptimal.
I decided I didn't know enough about his coordination, and I could not look out for Jimmy. So I called him back, and said "I'm not sure I want you to go across yet Sam." I tell myself I'll do it if I can catch him if he falls, until he gets old enough and I'm sure enough of his step.
Seriously, this park is extreme. Take a look at the slides. Kids can fall a long way. I'm glad they still make parks like this - is this a wave against the bubble wrapped childhood?
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So I bumped into a neighbour at the park. There with his family, including all his 5 kids.
He mentioned that this was a regular thing. How so, I enquired.
Turns out one of the dads decided to make it a thing to cook new things, and invite others to bring stuff too. And they do this once every few weeks.
Today my son just learnt about buoyancy and gravity. My heart sings!
So I was packing up and putting some old clothes downstairs in the storage room.
I came across an old book of mine, it was a tiny thin book on "Space".
So I brought it up. When we moved in two years ago I thought I would not pull that out until Sam was about 6. Close enough.
When he came past me he went straight for the book.
By the third page, we talked about gravity, and how Isaac Newton discovered it.
We talked about buoyancy. I brought out a little pot. We floated and sank toys and talked about why balloons didn't fall down like apples if we dropped them.
We talked about the escape velocity for Earth. I tried to work out how to describe to Sam how fast 11.2km per second is.
Can you think of a place far from here?
S: China.
*Quick math scribble*
S: Do you know that at that speed we can get to China in 12 min?
Wow. That's fast.
Yes it is.
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It's amazing how kids are good at pattern recognition.
Sam found some pictures of space shuttles. He remembered seeing these in another book.
And then some pictures of the lunar module.
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I had to go to do some yard work. Sam had loads more questions for me.
It seems a shame to have to leave the hungry child.
For a week or so, it was so nice to not have to shout everything.
And now, since he's had the cold in the last week, his hearing has gone down again.
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I watched Rain Man for the first time last night. (My wife fell asleep during our "date night". Yeah, we don't have real exciting dates much these days, especially when she's preggers.)
The story starts out an estranged son Charlie (Cruise) discovers he has an autistic brother Raymond (Hoffman) after their father's death. The story unfolds as Charlie 'kidnaps' Raymond in order to get his share of the $3M inheritance.
It was confronting to see how we treat people with disabilities in such a cruel and dismissive way.
In some ways, the autistic brother, Raymond, is much more gifted than Charlie is.
Also, I was uncomfortable seeing the frustration that Charlie showed to Raymond, who has these needs he cannot articulate. He has routines, and they result in quite specific requests:
Raymond: 12:30 is lunch.
Charlie: What do you want?
Raymond: Wednesday is fish sticks. Green lime jello for dessert.
Charlie: You want another apple juice?
Raymond: No, orange soda. Uh oh, it’s 12:31.
I was incredibly frustrated with Charlie's character at the start. What a self centred, impatient prick he was!
Susanna: You use me, you use Raymond, you use everybody.
Charlie: Using Raymond? Hey Raymond, am I using you? Am I using you Raymond?Raymond: Yeah.
Charlie: Shut up! He is answering a question from a half hour ago!
If you have been reading my blog for a while you would guess what I might say next...
It was not long into the movie before I got that sinking feeling. I am so often like Charlie. Short. Impatient. Self centred. In a hurry to get somewhere.
On a bad day, I realise I can fail to listen to Sam's needs. I think he's disabled in almost everyday when compared to me or others around me, an adult, and forget that he is probably much more gifted in many other ways. Like being happy. Being creative. Not seeing limits. Not having negative thoughts.
All this comes from arrogance and ignorance.
Having Sam have a temporary disability like hearing degradation is good for me. And it has been good for me to learn to be gracious, to be kind, to empathise.
Here's an example when Charlie lost his temper with Raymond and pulled Raymond's head.
Now imagine if your child kept a list like that. What if involuntarily, subconsciously, they did? Or someone did?
Charlie: What are you writing? What is this? “Serious Injury List”? Serious injury list? Are you kidding me?
Raymond: Number eighteen in 1988, Charlie Babbitt squeezed and pulled and hurt my neck in 1988.
Charlie: Squeezed and pulled and hurt your neck in 1988?
