That's Gold!

Mimi went hunting for gold today.

It was a long walk through the paddock, around the cowpats and to the place where you get your hands dirty.

Dig and pan for gold. 

It sounds like they had a great time at the Gold Rush school excursion.

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I dropped by at youth group and a young man was excited to see me.

Darren was keen to share about Ephesians 6.

Even though he missed the context and the conversation from Youth Group the previous week, he was genuinely encouraged to learn about what God has to say about family relationships.

How do children obey their parents?

Sometimes it can be so hard to obey when the parents get it wrong.

Darren talked about his ego and how it gets in the way.

"Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. 'Honor your father and mother'—which is the first commandment with a promise— 'so that it may go well with you and that you may enjoy long life on the earth.' 

Fathers, do not exasperate your children; instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord." — Ephesians 6:1-4

I took a metaphorical step back and savoured the precious line of inquiry is, coming from the next generation.

I decided to ask him if he ever noticed how women came before men in Ephesians 5. 

And also why children came before fathers. 

Then we went digging. 

Darren was so curious. "So why did Paul address children first?" 

It is an absolute joy to share some of the tools I picked up over the years.

The Author's purpose tool. The Context tool. The Structure tool. 

These tools I picked up from Dig Deeper.

I couldn't hold back answering for much longer. 

So I shared how Ephesians 6 flows from God's supreme headship and majestic order. Perhaps the certainty of Christ reigning forever and our secure position with Him allows all of us to submit to His rule, in spite of circumstances that are tricky, challenging and make us uncomfortable. What if the thrust of chapter 1 carries through to chapter 6.

There was a golden glow in the young man's eyes.

Darren told me how sometimes he would know there's something to be discovered in the scriptures, and try to understand, but get frustrated that he can't seem to get more.

I got to remind him that trusting that God has something more to share is a great start. And besides picking up new and better tools, there is that promise that if we ever get stuck, we can always ask him. 

I reminded him that it says in Proverbs,

"The fear of the Lord is the beginning of knowledge, but fools despise wisdom and instruction." — Proverbs 1:7

Darren is growing man. 

So hungry to learn and keen to share.

With that precious view of his position relative to God.

You never know when you come across a nugget in your travels. 

That's gold!

Missed the mark

Mr Matthew

Mr Luke.

Mr John...

There's one more...

...Which one did I forget?

Oh, dang. I Mister Mark.

Missed the Mark.  

Lachlan and I warmed up our teens (Year 10-12) with dad jokes. 

We shared some great ones. Some bad dad ones.

S brought his Bible. He got stamps.

Lachlan kicked off the session.

He asked, 

1. What is sin?

In olden days, one way of describing sin is "missing the mark". 

Just like this AI generated picture, the boy missed the mark. 

He's aiming his bow in completely the wrong direction. 

(And the adults - it is not good for them to just watch and smile).

NOTE: No virtual teens were injured in the AI session.

It says in scripture that we have all sinned. Another way of describing sin is iniquity, something bent or crooked.

"We all, like sheep, have gone astray, each of us has turned to our own way; and the Lord has laid on him the iniquity of us all." — Isaiah 53:6

2.    How does sin affect you? 

We talked about how causes us to no longer clearly hear his voice, and we start to believe he doesn't hear ours. We feel far from God. Separated from him.

We talked about grave examples of sin, like going to prison or crashing a car. Also seemingly minor examples of sin like gossip. Even "small" sins breaks relationships and hurts people.

"But your iniquities have separated you from your God; your sins have hidden his face from you, so that he will not hear." — Isaiah 59:2

Imagine trying to have a good life without hearing from the author of life. It would be hard to stay on track if can't hear his voice. How could you know or remember who you are!

3.    How do we break free from sin?

We talked through some ways - going to church, reading our Bibles, praying. This was a good time when I injected some incorrect information. I said, "I can work harder." 

This answer completely misses the mark, because in it we believe we can be good enough and hit the mark without Jesus. 

4.    Why do we need help from Jesus instead of fixing sin by themselves?

 The Bible is clear. We cannot work our way to salvation or eternity with God.

We are dead because of our sins. 

Besides some money to put food on the table, what we deserve and earn is death.

"For the wages of sin is death, but the gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord." — Romans 6:23

There is only one way to deal with sin. 

We turn away from our wrong way, and turn to Jesus.

5.    What has Jesus shown you about your sin?

I shared my story of rebellion over the years. Lachlan shared too.

It may be a while before we get to the point of being honest before each other, but we can talk to God one on one. And that's a good start.  

"For Christ also suffered once for sins, the righteous for the unrighteous, to bring you to God. He was put to death in the body but made alive in the Spirit." — 1 Peter 3:18

6.    What does he invite you to do with that? 

We left the youth with this promise and invited them to be honest with Jesus.

It's like what best friends can be for each other - be honest with each other about what's really going on. Tell the truth. Turn away from being alone, and support each other.

If we are honest with God, and talk to him about our sin, Jesus can help us confess and turn us away from our sin. And we can receive forgiveness. 

"If we claim to be without sin, we deceive ourselves and the truth is not in us. If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness." — 1 John 1:8-9

So, what will you say to Jesus?

That invitation is available for you today. 

Next week

Bring your Bible. 

I can't wait to hear what is shared.

Who Gets to Say Who I am?

I have decided to repurpose my blog to talk about a passion topic.

I make no apologies for this change in direction. It is in line with the purpose and the name of this blog.

My passion is to see men helping boys grow into men.

I do like farming and growing fruit. 

Real mangos and real men-go further on their walk with Jesus.

My passion is to see men helping boys grow into men.

I showed up to Sunday youth gathering second time this week.

It was a slightly smaller group.

I was chuffed during recap that they remember mango leaves! 

I was chuffed that two brought their Bibles.

I enjoyed get-to-know-you bingo, because it gave me an excuse to meet the boys and girls and for them to have a chance to know my name.

When we broke into smaller groups I got the upper middle school boys.

It was kinda like this but a bit more suburbia. 

We sat in the shade under some trees. 

It was great for the boys not being stuck in doors. The smaller group was easier for me to be a bit more relaxed on the behavioural management. 

The topic was "Who am I?"

I recapped how last week. With the mango leaves experience  we remember that 

God is a farmer and vinedresser.

so 

if God is a farmer then
who am I?

I recalled stories of when I was unsure about who I am as a person in Christ. I hustled in my studies and work to prove who I am and that I am somebody worth being loved. 

How unnecessary is that, when I am already loved beyond measure!

I shared my take on how Ephesians 2 and Psalm 139 helped me through those times.

I asked a couple of simple questions:

1. What does the Ephesians 2:8-10 say about who we are?
2. What is our purpose?
3. How would Psalm 139:13-14 help us when we are confused or upset about who we are?

One boy shared a practical example of how F1 driver backed himself despite what his mechanics told him, because he knew who he is and what he knew. We talked also about the men who think they know (but didn't know) but didn't listen to other people and made dumb decisions too. 

It was interesting to hear out loud that every single one of these young men want a good future.

They shared they do believe that knowing who they are is important to that future.

We talked about how the world tries to tell us who we are. One of those sneaky lines we can watch out for is "You can be anybody you want to be." 

I took the opportunity to underline what it looks like going forward for us as a group. It is a simple practice that is millennia old:

1. read Scripture and listen to him
2. invite God to tell us who He is
3. invite Him to tell us who we are

The next steps we agreed to take together

1. read those verses at home
2. Bring Bible next time* 

Heya parents, 

You can help your young man take the next step by encouraging him with the above.

I did some quick research below to help you take that next important step.

Let's make it happen together.

He who says who I am says:

For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith—and this is not from yourselves, it is the gift of God— not by works, so that no one can boast. For we are God’s handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.

 Ephesians 2:8-10 

Fruit, Farming and the Gardener

Today I had the opportunity to talk to some teens on fruit, farming and the gardener.

There were a few energetic boys who were sometimes disruptive.

That's in spite of my best efforts to deliver an engaging talk with tactile experiences.

I even brought in a branch from our back yard,

I handed it to each boy and invited them to "take one and pass it on."  

I asked if any of the boys knew which tree it came from.

None of them guessed it right.

City kids with not much grass time, let alone paddock time.

I asked one of the boys to squeeze the leaf.

"It smells like mango." 

Yes. 

The leaf bears the essence of the tree.

--------------------------

And then one teen asked me, 

"How did you become a follower of Jesus?" 

To that I replied,

"I don't have time to share the whole story, but here's a short version. 

I remember the first time I was in grade 6, someone in grade 10 asked me,

'What do you think of Jesus?'

I didn't think too much and replied,

 'I think he is @#$^.'

That person then asked,

 'Well have you ever read the Bible?'

Little did I know within a year or two I thought very differently of Jesus. 

Now I am here to tell you about Jesus and what the Bible says about him."

That grade 10 teen, Michael, went on to impact many others with his love for Jesus. 

================

Just yesterday I was pruning that mango tree in the back yard.

I didn't really know what I was doing but found ChatGPT's advice very helpful.

I learnt I needed to prune the shooters first, to control the height of the tree.

Cut back the long over-reach branches.

And then prune the tips of every fruiting branch.

All this would make it easier to reach the mangoes next season.

I found myself really liking the tree and the process of pruning.

It made me wonder about the years back when I resented gardening.

I always felt behind and I had other things worth more of my time to do.

As I trimmed the branches, back, I thought of John 15. 

“I am the Real Vine and my Father is the Farmer. He cuts off every branch of me that doesn’t bear grapes. And every branch that is grape-bearing he prunes back so it will bear even more. You are already pruned back by the message I have spoken.

I wonder what Michael would be thinking now.

Go man go.

The Kneed to Count

Dear son,

Congratulations on falling today. 

Bleeding and bruising in both knees.

Grazing to both sides of your leg.

You wore it well.

In line with your amazing intention to fail well in 2026.

The haircut you got today didn't work out either. 

So we tried again. 

And that didn't quite fix it.

You didn't take this as well.

Ouch.

So...

on your pain scale you would rank these from most to least like this:

Unfortunate haircut>Skin grazes>Bleeding and bruised knees

Fascinating.

We had a chat after your shower and reapplying the bandages. 

We talked about reframing and perspective and something I said made you laugh. 

I didn't get to share this with you, so I thought I'd mark this milestone and write this out loud. 

There happens to be a lot times when the Bible authors invite their readers to reframe. For example the book James 1, we have the word "count" or "consider". More examples here.

It's clear somethings count more than others.

We kneed to learn to count. 

And count things well.

Otherwise, left to ourselves, we can count in odd ways.

These can leave us cynical, grumpy and resentful.

And I have fallen for that many times.

Ouch.

Always

My dear child,

It is uncomfortable to feel alone and misunderstood.

It sucks to find yourself in places where other people find it hard to follow.

It is normal to yourself in a place where words don't come out right.

It is ok to not have the words match what you mean.

You won't always be stuck here.

Even if your friends don't listen or understand,

Even if your parents don't listen or understand,

Even if you don't understand,

There is someone who always listens and always understands.

He gives you the space to get it all out.

He is aware and does not cut you off.

He does not count your mistakes and faults against you.

He makes it ok to share your secrets.

He does not leave you in your guilt or shame.

He is glad to sit with you.

He knows when to help you to get up.

He knows how to guide you.

He has and gives you the resources to overcome.

My child, you are never alone.

Your Father is always with you.

Isaiah 41:10

Proverbs 1

Isaiah 9:6

Psalm 139

Matthew 28

James 1

---------

It was my son Sam who prompted me to write this. 

When.

Unlike previous years, Father's Day this year is new for me. It was over a seemingly average lunch on Friday that I realised this. It has been really interesting mid week this week hearing from other fathers what fatherhood means for them. The way they were fathered. The way they father their own children. Yesterday, I reflected with other friends how I get to father my children differently. And today I got to share Father's Day this year with my own children.

So. 

Here's what happened with me and Sam on Friday. It was his pupil free day and my work from home day. Sam was excited to tell me about what he is learning in history class, about the opium war in China. Something Sam said about England and China got me in a more careful inquiry and instruction mode. 

But.

Sam did not feel heard. 

Yet.

Here was the turning point that made this new. And instead of getting offended, his dad managed to ask a curious question, "What happened?" 

Together.

We discovered Sam did not fully know what he wanted to express. Sam just wanted a space to work out his thoughts. 

Ouch. 

I realised in that moment how often I have been so quick to instruct, coach and rant. I have been sharing for my own sake. I personally know how sucky it is to be on the receiving end when you want to have the space to explore and work things out. It sucks. 

Cringe.

In that moment I also realised the wonderful love of our Father in Heaven, and the immense honour he has also bestowed on me.

Wow.

I am presently imperfectly fathering my son, as my Heavenly Father perfectly fathers me.

Hey.

At 41, I am at this special turning and mixing point. I get to build on the educational, economic, social, emotion foundations my parents, and specifically, my father laid for me. There have been many moments where my parents, and specifically my father, just didn't understand me. I resented that. Cringed at that. And at the same time, my children are putting and will put up with my own imperfections. Now I get to learn about fatherhood from my Heavenly Father as I father my own children. This is so much like that "build a helicopter as you fly off the cliff" approach to that tech start-up you might have heard about.  

Woah.

It is great to not have it together. I do not need to face Father's Day this year with that sense of inadequacy, regret, shame, disappointment like I used to. I feel so grateful I realised I really want to share this good stuff with you. 

Yup.

Sam, Jimmy and Mim, your dad is still working on it.

Your Dad is also still working on it.

-----

If you have no idea what this feels like to be in this process of workingonit, you can watch this video with your child or father figure.

If you have lived it before and tend to forget, like I do, this letter is the one to meditate on.

The Song of the Cosmic Crushers with Croissants

Dear Sam, Jimmy and Mimi,

On our 17th wedding anniversary, we celebrate this battle victory.

Mum and dad woke up to the door opening.

You arrived with 3 amazing croissants in a box. 

Jimmy had the idea. You took the initiative to ask your grandma to financially back it, you skipped to the cafe and the three of you brought back the treats to surprise us. 

The way you smiled when you came in the door, the way you served us at table, and the way we shared the moment - just precious! 

So we treasure these things in our heart. This is one of the most moving moments we have experienced as your parents and during our anniversary these years.

More than that, we see the victory that is in the unseen world. The power that caused that move is beyond anything we fleshly parents can create. Overcoming your differences, arguments, distractions and doubts, the Lord has supplied you with the power and love to come together for this mission. 

Your song is that song of God's goodness in our lives. The lyrics of your love for each other and for us crushes the cosmic powers that try to lay claim on us. 

Kpop Demon Hunters movie has been good for us. As followers of Jesus we have received this as fun fiction with joy. It helped us as a family talk about the spiritual realm. It is helping us connect with our friends. The movie has its catchy music and intriguing storyline, and the visualisation of the unseen strikes a chord with what people intuitively sense. Is this the way the Lord helps christians talk about the spiritual world in a hyper materialistic idol saturated society?

How cool is this, Sam, Jimmy and Mimi?

We get to fight in the real unseen battle everyday.

We don't need to be on stage or be the hero.

Our King is here. He has destroyed all our guilt and shame.

The kingdom of light moves onwards.

For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. - Eph 6.

[Updated with your feedback SJM: 2025-07-23: 

Where are the Kpop Demon Hunter References? 

Where is the song? The words don't rhyme in this blog.

So dad realised he needs to write more literally and to the point.]