Out of the Blue (Disc)

So most of you know that Wii games are not blue.

Sam really thought we broke the Mario Kart game today when he could not get the game to work.
It's like you can't insert any discs into the Wii controller.

To ease the disappointment and give me space to clean up the table, I naturally sedated him with some ABC Kids TV time.

So as I tuck Sam in as usual afterwards, he probed about his Wii playing odds for following days.

I said, "Daddy has lots of work to do." Referring to doing the dishes and a few other paper errands.

And out of the blue, Sam tells me,

"I don't want you to fix our Wii."

Surprised, I asked why.

"I want you to do your work so we can have food to eat."

And this is the reason why you marry a woman who reads good parenting books.

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Further investigation

After a few questions were asked, it was discovered that Mimo was spotted (but not stopped!?!) inserting this into the Wii disc drive.
Turns out the Kmart jukebox imitation CDs are not supported by Wii.

The Wii controller thought it had a legit disc but could not eject it due to the size.
So a calibrated plastic feeding spoon belonging to said Mimo was used to retrieve the said disc.
The trick was to power the controller down after hitting the eject button (to retract the locking pins normally designed to prevent said disc and other similarly sized objects).

Of course we had to test the controller operations after the fix.

Of course it was Mario Kart.

Photo of said disc after it was retrieved by his dad after tucking Sam in.

When I reach out.

When I reach out.

You have the freedom to not reply.
You have the freedom to pretend you didn't read it.
You have the freedom to pretend you didn't read it in time.
You have the freedom to not agree with me and not tell me why.
You have the freedom to agree with me and not tell me you agree with me.

Individually, normally, I'm ok with the above.



In the past, I've emailed something to you about an experience of mine.
It was a painful lesson I've learnt.
It was something great I've experienced.
It was a great idea.
I was keen to hear your thoughts.
I wondered if we could take that and make it so much more.
Here was a chance we can build a stronger connection.

But you didn't reply.
When I bumped into you, you didn't mention it.

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I don't know if you've ever given it a thought.
But did you know that a no-reply is actually (slightly) negative?
A wave of no-replies is like a multitude of people not voting, (quite) negative.
You don't need to look far to see the effect of not voting, not speaking up.

When this happens, it take effort on my part to think the best of the situation.

I try.

But I then wonder, has my message not moved you enough to even say, "Agree!" or "Not sure about that."
It hurts more when what I share with you is important or sensitive to me.

If I pour out my heart...

Please exercise your freedom to reply.
A word.
An emoticon.
Not just because I'm a millennial.
But because I am human.

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Is it just email?
Is it just social media?
Shall I resort to snail mail? (And take it that as a lesson of sharing via social media).

Everybody needs a hero.

A convo between Daddy and Jimmy on the way back from Springfield Parklands.
Bats fly across scene left as dusk develops further into night.


Dad: Look at those bats. I wonder if batman is flying up there?
Sam: What? Batman? 
Jimmy: No, no. There are no superheros dad.
Dad: What do you mean there are no superheros? Who told you?
Jimmy: I just know.


And that's all I got out of the little man.
Everybody needs a hero.

To listen without judgement

It takes great effort to listen without judgement.

• What does it take?

If you don't know how hard it is, try listening to someone criticising something you've done.

• Do you arc up and be defensive?
• Do you look to justify why it was so?

Listening without judgement comes with great difficulty.

But I have been blessed to have come across a great bunch of people who have modelled listening.

 

Enter Bill.

• Bill taught me to carry out incident investigations
• Bill has a quiet, respectful and inquisitive demeanour.
• Bill disarms the aggressor by the way he listens without judgement.
• Humbly observing, Bill seeks to improve his understanding of the situation, rather than trying to take control of that person's view point.

What does it take to listen without judgement?

I'd appreciate your comments and the convos to follow.

Finding the Mimo

For a number of reasons, our #3, Naomi, has a number of pet names.

• Mimi.
• Nomi. 
• Mimi the noosh.
• Mimo. 

Over the holidays just gone we camped in our backyard.

Yup.
Yes, you might call it glamping (glamorous camping).
No noisy neighbours with generators.
No awkward showers.
Short walk to the dunny.

Anyway, one of the things we also did was set up an outdoor cinema.
Borrowing a projector, we tied up a bed sheet to our carport.
We invited some friends over for an outdoor cinema.

That day, Christmas eve eve, I was working most of the day but was able to get home a little earlier.
When I got in the door, Sam ran up to me excitedly.
Obviously mummy told him about it.

"Dad! Dad! We're watching a movie tonight!"

What movie was that, Sam?

"It's called Finding the Mimo!"

The best place for the Mimo was in bed.
Her real bed.

Deep Down, It Is the Same Thing

Have you ever noticed how hard it is to receive negative feedback.
It doesn't really matter if it is "constructive".
It really punches me in the guts when I hear I've not done something well.
Particularly if I've tried hard at doing that something well.

It happened at work, when Mark told me how he noticed a routine job was not done quite right. Year after year, the job was not done the way it should be done. He raised it and to him, to do it the "right way" was brushed off as being too hard.

Luckily, I wasn't the one who had the difficult task of not addressing his concerns (for one reason or another. But I can imagine that would not have been encouraging for Mark who felt brushed off, who wanted to do things right.

It happened at home, when my wife told me how I am lacking in doing certain chores.
It is a great thing for Jenn to want jobs to go well around the house. I want that too, most of the time.
It was very tempting to brush her off and go on about how I don't get the recognition I deserve.
I can recall countless times where I've gone defensive - and it led to in a near WWIII event.

Listening without judgement.
At work.
At home.
At dinner time.
At bath time with the kids.


We secretly expect our managers and leaders to be able to attain this kind of broad shoulders listening.
But we rarely encourage them when they do.
But we rarely pursue it ourselves.

This takes immense amount of maturity and work.
And many failures.

Like most things, all good endeavours are hard.

Who else is seeing this at home or at work?
I'd be keen to hear of your journey, or if you've embarked on that journey.

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In a part of my job, I get paid to chew on this stuff.
I get training and lots of on the job experience to hone this in.
And it's so good and useful that I really should be sharing this stuff.

What? I thought you were an engineer? 

Yes, I am also a part time investigator.
As an incident investigator I get to look into an incident and find out what went wrong - e.g. person rolls their ankle or equipment fails catastrophically.
I dig in deep and try to clearly articulate the root cause.
On the surface the issue is the technical bit that broke or the person who deviated from the accepted norm. A good investigation rarely blames the bit.
I write a report and the company tries to fix the problem based on my recommendations.
Almost always, the root cause points back to something that relates to how the manager(s) do their job. Often, when multiple parties are involved, the managers failed to failing to communicate to the teams or to promote the right kind of communication between the parties. Or when problems are glaringly obvious, they are not addressed because managers don't listen.

See the Deepwater Horizon Movie for a fine example of not listening to your frontline people.
On the surface (pun intended) it is about an oil rig.
Deep down it is about encouraging people to speak up.
And to listen. And then to do something to address their concerns.
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I have been reading this book btw - awesome.

Why I am Going Raw Wholesome Organic... Media

Don't call me hippie.
I'm not advocating consuming overpriced organic fruit and veg.

I am advocating for you to think about whether you are consuming raw, wholesome organic media.

I recall the controversy of Big Brother when it came out.
Thankfully I was quite young and didn't see the Big deal and laughed at it and anyone else who watched it.
People were disgusted that you could watch someone's every move.
And then we realised "reality TV" was not reality.

It took me a while to articulate this realisation that another dud, has been flying below my radar for such a long time.

Much of our world is driven by discontentment.
That's how we're groomed to buy, to sign up, to yearn for the next product.
We laugh at the glossy magazines, a dying publishing industry.
But then we're sold another dud. It was right under our noses.

Facebook.
(substitute Instagram... et al here.)

I was, and still am one of them. It's a habit thing that comes from deep within our hearts.
And we too, fall into the trap of being on Big Brother.
Screaming "Look at me!" like millions of others.
Also screaming "Don't look at me!" whilst being offended at how our privacy is breached.

Social media sends the message that everyone else is living perfect lives when I am not.
So I must also take that overseas holiday. And then take selfies with my beautiful children, who by the way are sporting the latest toys and clothes.

Just like Big Brother, Who Weekly, those pictures hardly represents the real person portrayed. The real struggles of getting through to the end of the day are not shown. The warts of difficult conversations are not had in social media (hopefully). We airbrush out the pimples, tuck in the fat and hold it for long enough to take the selfie. Metaphorically speaking. It's not that my asian metabolism allow me to have any residual fat.

Just like the packaging of the freezer meals, on the outside we live like an appetising, steaming hot roast lamb leg and vegetable complete.
On the inside we are probably more like a shrivelled zucchini, longing be really appreciated and garnished alongside some exotic roast meat on Master Chef.

When I was going through depression and anxiety, I realised first hand that it is possible at some stage of life, for a man to commit his life to follow Jesus, and feel utterly inadequate in all respects of his manhood.

If you're interested or if it is relevant, more on that to come in later posts. Hold me to it please.
I've done a good job putting it off til now.

So we all know, to really break out of poor physical health you need good diet with the accompanying exercise, plus some good people to keep you accountable.
Well, what is the equivalent good diet and exercise and accountability for the mind?

Are you only consuming fast, junk, sometime foods?
It might not be the greatest for your heart or your mind.

For me, I'm going organic.

Yes, it's going to be hard. 

Yes, it's going to cost me.

Yes, I am going to pay the price.

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Thank you to my friend Josh who posted this on Facebook. You got me thinking. And then the dots just lined up.

Thank you to my wife Jenn. You reminded me of all the pressure you are facing as a wife, a mum and a follower of Jesus.

Thank you to my friend B who reminded me of how much I have it all together lately.
You have to know that my life is far from it.