So I learnt recently that I am not in charge of the world.
I am in charge of very few things.
And even the things I am in charge of, seldom bow down to my authority. Such as...
The weeds. Sigh.
My kids
Sam's OT, her name is Kat as you may recall, prepared a story for me to read to Sam.
In this story, Sam learns that
Who is in charge at school and at home, and why they are in charge (teacher, principal, parents)
it's ok to not have the best idea
it's important to focus (and why)
I have not set time aside to read the book with Sam, yet. But it should be a hit because:
Sam has a strong desire to know why he ought to do something, before he does it.
That's good! I remind myself, after Sam asks the 134th "Why?" question of the day. It is indeed consistent with Simon Sinek's talk here. And I should embrace it. it would be difficult to have a child simply do it because someone in charge told him to.
As a believer and follower of Jesus, I know that God doesn't simply tell us what to do. He tells us why. Story after story after story he reminds his people to stay true to him like he has been to them. To God, it was so important his people knew why, he made sure it was written down. So it shouldn't annoy me.
Sam finds it hard to filter out distractions -
That's okay. I remind myself.
He's just like his dad.
I seldom like having to choose between two simultaneous engaging conversations happening around me. I want to be in both. If you catch me being a poor listener when we speak, I'm having a fit deciding/focusing/committing. Comes with maturity(and age) and practice, I hope.
Sam finds it hard to fail.
In fact, if he has a chance to fail or prospect of not choosing the "best" idea, he'd rather not start.
I hate failing. It's taken me the best part of 9 months just to start talking about things I'm not good at, and embracing the fact that I can't be good at many things. e.g. coding. And I have to rely on others to help me. And I don't do big DIY jobs around the house myself because it'd take me longer, and I'd stuff it up, and I'd probably look like a fool.
So this year I'm aiming to fail at a few things. Blog post on its way.
And the book, how will Sam receive it?
Will keep you posted.
I've also yet to receive the detailed report from Kat so... until then,
You'll have to wait for the trilogy to be completed.
I was moved when Sam told me that day after Christmas, that you loved me very much.
You told me you knew we loved you because we bought you a Wii.
That moved me so much.
I know Jimmy felt the same, but didn't have the vocabulary to express it in the same way.
But I have a confession to make.
Well, the truth is, Sam and Jimmy, we played it before we gave it to you.
By the time you read this I hope you will see how parenting is about compromises. And that your parents are doing the best they could to give you the most enriching childhood.
We had to make sure it worked.
It was second hand (Remember you're not just Chinese, you're Aussie too, and it's ok to have second hand stuff). Wii u would have been too complicated for you.
And then we played it again to make sure it was reliable.
And then we played it to make sure the driving function worked for Mario Kart. We both agreed it was at a level you can pick up easily.
And then we played it to make sure Super Mario Brothers was not too hard for you. And it was. Alas it will be a few good months or a year before you can play it.
We foresee that in the near future you will need additional variety in the form of Mario Galaxy 2.
In the mean time we'll be sure to buy it and road test it to learn how to best support you both in that.
And also we will work on getting friends over to test out the 4 player functionality in Smash Brothers so it is ready for your kids parties.
Love,
Your workingonit dad
PS. We have been checking it works every night to make sure it doesn't fail on you when you need it the most.
We might be able to help him overcome things holding him back from developing
So we made our way to Kids Matters, OTs who specialise in helping kids.
This venue was surprisingly a warehouse in a normally industrial complex.
I wasn't sure what to expect but I took Jimmy with us to give Jenn a break from the boys.
Sam's OT was Kat.
We made our way into the room.
"Wow!" I said.
It was decked out with soft play matts and cushions, equipment hanging from the ceiling.
Kat explained the format of the sessions: two 50min assessments with Sam and 1 debrief session for the parents.
Kat got Sam onto some activities.
Jimmy got onto the iPad while I explored the room. I kept an ear out for Kat doing her thing.
By the end of it I could see Sam was having a great time.
In many ways I would have really enjoyed that 1 on 1 time.
I am always fascinated observing professional kid wranglers with my kids. These are kindy teachers and OTs alike. Professionals, in the way
they stay composed, not letting failures or disappointments upset them.
they are in the moment with the kids.
they respectfully listen and respond without judgement.
they encourage, build rapport and trust with kids
Got me thinking...
What does it take for parents to be professional to our own kids?
Are we parents far too biased/invested?
A breakdown of what I noticed about that experience for Sam:
Focused attention was for a limited time - 10 to 15min before a reward
A reward was in the form of facilitated play time, chosen by the child
The reward was timed
The child was told what to expect and why they are doing the activity
The whole interaction was timed (45-50min)
Sam's reward for the experience was to go into the bouncing stretching hanging hammocks. There are three layers, the more layers you have under you the more it holds you up. The less you have the more you're likely to hit the ground.
I am really learning about how broad OT is and the value they add. More on this in Part 2, stay tuned.
Today I lived a vision. The future is here. And it has come so much faster than we ever imagined.
After walking into a Tesla demo car in the local shopping centre, the staff convinced me (without too much arm twisting) to book an obligation free test drive.
My boys liked
The huge 17" touchscreen that lets them open and close the huge electric sunroof. Over and over and over again.
Am I on the market for one?
Not yet.
Still waiting for that spare 300k to land in my pockets.
Still waiting for my kids to not drop crumbs down on the back seats.
Still waiting for the technology to settle down.
Still waiting to see what the Model X is like.
Still waiting for more Supercharging stations.
Still waiting for the government to catch up re. autopilot.
But.
I thought it'd be a win win situation for me and Tesla.
I'd see how well they would make the product.
I would experience everything I've been reading about Elon and his fantasy.
I'd tell all my friends.
So here's my end of the bargain.
So how it unfolded.
My wife Jenn and I grabbed lunch together at New Shanghai - the awesome dumpling place.
And then wandered over to the hotel where Tesla was stationed for test drives.
Bodie greeted us warmly.
He took my licence details.
We designed and talked about the options for the Model S.
We watched on Bodie's phone to see where the Model S "Her Royal Highness" was.
We watched its speed and turned down its aircon setting to 18.5'C.
We walked down to the driveway. Her Royal Highness was still on the road. But the red beauty "Phoenix" pulled up.
We got our happy snap with the redhead.
Bodie showed us around the car.
I jumped into the drivers' seat, with Bodie in the passenger seat. Jenn in the back.
We drove onto the freeway.
I stretched its legs getting onto the freeway in Sport mode. Gee it was quiet.
We tested the autopilot on the freeway.
Bodie highlighted the navigation and interface features of the car as we drove.
Bodie turned on Ludicrous mode.
I picked my jaw off the floor.
We pulled into the hotel driveway.
We thanked Bodie and went on our merry way.
Yes we can take photos. Yes I want to remain enigmatic.
Legendary
Before our salesman Bodie turned on Ludicrous mode, he gently reminded us to sit back in our seats.
But I was blow away by:
how fast the Tesla team moved so fast to get this product to market.
from selling its first electric vehicle the Roadster in 2008 to producing a mid volume sedan of this quality
how well Tesla understood its markets
Rich middle aged men don't care about the price for an electric weekend car - very low volume, high cost car to break into the EV market. Pioneer the technology.
Wealthy early adopters are prepared to pay a small amount more for the future - this is the Model S. This subsides investment for research and design for subsequent cars
For families who need to move people and sit up high on the road - the Model X.
Finally, the high volume low cost Model 3 for everybody.
how it understood its customers
HEPA filter for polluted air (China!)
how easy it made it for us to transition to electric transportation
Yes, we will take care of your concerns with quality by giving you a 4 year guarantee on the car, 8 year guarantee on the battery and 5 year guaranteed resale value!
Yes, we will take care of supercharging stations, a major impediment for the limited range of the EV
Yes, we will take care of your home charging by not locking you down to a very specific, high cost charging installation. 3 Phase power is best, 1 Phase 32A is better, 1 Phase 16A is ok. And when you travel you can plug it in using a plug we give you.
Yes, we will make interfaces that are intuitive (like the iPad)
Yes, we make great cup holders too
Yes, we will add value that other companies don't or can't dream of - like auto pilot
soon I (average Joe Blo) will ask the car to pick me up, using an app on my phone. And it will. When the government will make full autopilot legal.
Just. Ludicrous.
So we designed an entry level Model S. We could have paid ~$1000 a month for 5 years w/ guaranteed resale of ~60k. Can't remember the exact numbers. That is quite accessible.
So pulling back what would normally be the cruise control knob put the car into autopilot mode. From then on the car drove itself. Deciding whether to follow the speed signs using its dash camera or match its speed and position with other cars around it. If I wanted to move into a faster lane, I would indicate - and the car moves into the lane when it felt it was safe. Ridiculous!
Goes without saying. 0-60km/hr in... I dunno. A second. My heart jumped. I lost my socks and still can't find them.
What I liked
that sexy 17" touchscreen that you can drag gadgets (camera/map/music) to like a smooth oversized iPad.
Using your phone to see who stole your car and why they turned the air con so low
Pre-cooling your car on a hot day
truck/bike detection on the front dash. You could see the camera/sensors detect the different vehicle types and show them as symbols on the dash
not being give the hard sell. The product sells itself.
What Jen liked
Huge, customisable cup holders. You could remove the dividers and fit a KFC bucket into the front cup holder I reckon.
smooth and simple back seat interior - no spaces to trap food dropped from the kids
What we didn't like
The sunroof option is mandatory if you want to put roof racks
The sunroof doesn't come with a fabric screen to keep out all the heat
You can't buy 2 rear facing seats in Australia to make the Model S a 7 seater!!!! Only in the US.
We need a lot more Supercharger stations for regional Australia. The furthest west of Brisbane was Toowoomba. Even though I don't make frequent trips out west or up north I don't want to feel stifled. Just like Elon said, cars = freedom.
Tesla could be a lot more open about the near/mid term plans for its Supercharger network
The interior, though nice, lacked the WOW I would expect from a $100k-300k car. In every other aspect I was drooling. Not this one Elon.
The standard regenerative breaking is quite jarring, compared with what I'm used to in the Prius. The "Low" settings was much smoother. I think this Low setting should be turned on by default for demonstrations.
For Bodie. When will I buy one?
I watched the Model 3 announcement video last night.
It looks really good.
Book me in for a Model X demo.
And then I'll find a way to get that spare 200k.
I used to say to Sam, "Harden Up!"
I was afraid he'd grow up to be a pussy. Get teased at school. Like I was teased.
Shows my insecurity more than anything.
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This following series currently on ABC's iView (Episode 1 available to 25 Oct 2016) is a raw, powerful view into Australian masculinity.
I couldn't believe the stats until I heard and looked them up. I knew they were high, but strewth!
~2000 people kill themselves each year. That's 40 a week!
That's on par with motor accidents.
Here I am, I've been banging on about safety at work (more to come later), when here's the gremlin silently killing us many times over, and we don't talk about it.
The kids get cooped up in the house.
They start bouncing off walls.
Especially Sam.
So our backyard makeover got urgent.
The boys needed dirt therapy.
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These ran through my head for the last year or so as I weighed up the pros and cons
Why do up the backyard?
We'd like the kids to be more outdoors
Our home has more paved areas than grassy areas
Kids are safe and within cooee of us at home
We can have people over who have kids - we'd like them to burn their energy outside
I can kick the ball with Sam until JUST before dinner time
The garden has a lot of wasted/dead space
We can camp in the back
We can have chickens
Why not do up the backyard?
There's already a park near by
Spend money (I was raised not to spend too much money)
How do I know what I want, what we need?
More maintenance, mowing
Uses lots of water
A risk that the grass won't take and it'll like a tough mudder track
==============================
So we started by ripping out the old pavers and garden boxes.
The digger driver was amazing. He carefully laid each paver into the bucket.
This meant we could keep the pavers. We gave lots to our neighbour Varunee.
Here comes the top soil.
The boys 'helped' compact the soil.
Sam learning how to cut pipe with a hack saw.
A good lesson in slow-and-steady wins the race.
Sam learning to wheel barrow.
Jimmy helping fill the sandpit.
The turf gets laid today.
Hopefully we can roll around on it in a few good weeks.
